Understanding and knowing yourself is key to resolving all pain in your life.  In this article, we’ll describe how learning to know yourself leads to selfless service to others, greater and more fulfilling relationships, and an extraordinary life.

Healing and resolving your emotional pain starts with understanding yourself

Healing and resolving emotional pain in your relationships and life starts with yourself.  It’s only by deeply understanding your personal wounds, unresolved emotions, past painful memories, simulacra recordings, your interpretative process of looking at yourself, life, and others, psychological associations that you’ve been making since you were born – both consciously and subconsciously, limiting beliefs, and fears, that you can permanently free yourself from their pervasive conscious and subconscious influence.  Understanding yourself IS the foundation for healing yourself, your relationships, and your life.  It can’t be any other way.  In order to be able to resolve misunderstandings and release your pain at the root – i.e. where it’s first created, you must first understand how it’s experienced, interpreted, recorded, and referenced, over and over again, in your relationships and life.

Understanding yourself gives you the capacity to be more present, connected, intentional, and ultimately to achieve your goals

This inner focus that leads to the resolution of your deepest pain in your relationships and life is not a self centered process in any way.  On the contrary, it’s a process of understanding yourself and your pain, in a new and more empowering light, so that you can eventually release the biases, fears, and limiting beliefs that are creating conflict and strife in your relationships and life.  Without first resolving your inner conflict, and releasing the parts of yourself that are still caught up in limiting beliefs, and reacting to fear, you stay stuck in negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions.  Those negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions then limit your capacity to be present and truly effective, to relate and connect to others, and to achieve your intentions and goals in your relationships and life.

Understanding yourself leads to understanding others

Concurrent to that process, it’s important that, as you start understanding yourself, you begin to apply those same understandings to others.  As you learn more and more about yourself, and your own pain, one of the main things you will come to realize is that, all your negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions are the result of some fear.  Though you do experience them – through your mind and your senses – they are not actually real. They are in fact simply a psychological reaction to mental projections created by you (inside your own mind.)  This realization alone will, over time, give you the capacity – as you continue to learn more about yourself, and thus become more self sovereign in your relationships and life – to develop more compassion, love, acceptance, and understanding for others.

The more you learn about yourself, the more you will realize the oneness between all of us

The more you learn about yourself, your pain, your deepest intentions, your fear, and limiting beliefs, the more you will realize the oneness between all of us.  After all, we are all having different versions of the same experience, and we are all mirrors to each other.  As you resolve and release your pain, fear, and limiting beliefs, you will gain the capacity to see in others a simple reflection of you.  Not more, not less, no different than you.  As you look in the mirror of each person that you’re in relationship with – through the lens of love and acceptance – you will see someone who, just like you, has their own share of pain, suffering, challenges, fear, struggles, and limitations.  You’ll also see reflected back to you the deepest intentions that exist in all of us, which are to love and be loved, to care and be cared for, to accept and be accepted, to connect and be connected, and ultimately to grow ever closer to God.

True love, acceptance, compassion, and forgiveness come from the experience of oneness

When this shift in consciousness occurs within you, you will deeply realize that we are all one, experiencing different variations of the same existence.  This realization will fill your heart with love and compassion for yourself and others.  You will experience a state where there is less and less separation, and more and more unity – both within and outside yourself.  True love, acceptance, compassion, and forgiveness cannot come from an idea that we should feel and embody them, they can only come from this deep understanding and experience of our ultimate oneness.

Learning to know yourself and resolving your pain creates momentum to help others do the same

When you work towards learning to know yourself and your own pain, you’re working towards understanding and feeling this oneness, and thus you begin to work not only for yourself but for the whole of humanity.  As you continue healing and resolving past pain and misunderstandings, your heart opens more and more, you feel less and less codependency to others, and it becomes easier and easier to relate to others through this oneness, as well as to feel and share unconditional love and acceptance with them.  Your actions become less and less self centered, and more and more directed towards not only resolving your own pain and fear, but also helping and guiding the way for others to do the same for themselves and the whole of humanity.

Getting triggered and falling back into negative patterns is not a failure, it’s part of the process of coming into alignment with yourself and in serving others

This path of service to others that comes, not from a place of fear or rescuing, but as a result of your experience of oneness, continues to grow and evolve exponentially as you continue to resolve your personal pain and fear.  When you start treading this path of service to others, you might, from time to time, get triggered into pain and fear, recognize that those thoughts, feelings, and emotions are only a result of unresolved pain and fear. They’re not a problem.  And they do not mean that you’ve failed, or that you’re not good enough, smart enough, or worthy enough.  This understanding will free you from reacting to your pain and fear, and help you to start focusing on your personal pain and fear so that you can heal it and continue to help others heal too.

To resolve your pain and fear, you must first be willing to take accountability for it

You can’t possibly get there from here, i.e. reacting to your pain and fear as if others caused it.  To get there, we must be willing to take accountability for our own pain and fear, understand what causes it, and deeply resonate with and feel our oneness in both love and suffering.  If this path of service to others is the ultimate path that we all tread once we release the limitations of the self, then it must begin with releasing any and all pain, fear, and belief that created these limitations.  You have the capacity to tread this selfless path.  We all do.

On this path of service to others. there is no more pain or fear

On this path of service to others, there is no more personal pain or fear.  On this path of service followed by Jesus, Mother Teresa, Buddha, Gandhi, and other enlightened masters and saints, you will find equanimity, inner peace, joy, happiness for no reason, unconditional love, complete acceptance, compassion, and God alignment.  On this selfless path, you will be free from suffering and experience the bliss of existence beyond the self.  This path starts with you.  This path is within you.  It’s a star to follow.  Your life matters.  Your happiness matters.  Your fulfillment in life matters.

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