Are you struggling with negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions? Would like to permanently release from them? In this article, we’ll share with you how you can permanently free yourself from all negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions.
There is a lot of misinformation about how we should deal with negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions
You may have heard that you shouldn’t feel the way you feel. Or, maybe you’ve been told that you shouldn’t think so much. Perhaps, someone suggested that you should meditate to stop an overactive mind, or to get relief from stress and anxiety. Yet, somewhere else you may have read, or been told, that you should not be the way you are, or that you should stop with all your addictions, etc. Or, worse, you may have been mislead into thinking that you could control what you think and how you feel on command. Wherever you’ve heard this, and whoever shared these cookie-cutter rules and beliefs with you, that’s not going to help. Unfortunately, there is a lot of misinformation about how we should deal with our negative thoughts, feelings, emotions, addictions, and behaviors. None of it is helpful. Just because we’ve heard it, or seen it done, doesn’t make it valid, justified, or useful.
We can’t control our negative thoughts, feelings, or emotions
We can’t control our thoughts. We can’t control our emotions. We can’t control ourselves. And we definitely can’t control others, no matter how hard we try. Nor is it useful to want to. You may have wanted to believe that you could control your thoughts, feelings, and emotions because that would mean that you wouldn’t have them anymore. That’s totally understandable. What you may not have clearly understood yet is that the process of controlling your thoughts, feelings, and emotions actually means repressing, suppressing, and avoiding them.
Our negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions are here for a reason
So what really happens when you attempt to control your thoughts, feelings, and emotions? You suppress how you deeply feel. Our thoughts, feelings, and emotions are here for a reason. When you feel physical pain, it’s your nervous system sending a signal to your brain that there’s something ‘wrong.’ Maybe it’s telling you that you need to make an adjustment to your posture, heal a wound, tend to a broken bone, soothe an upset stomach, etc. When that happens, we usually listen because we want to get out of physical pain. It’s no different with your emotional pain. When you experience negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions, you’re getting a signal that something in your subconscious mind just got triggered. The negativity you feel is here to let you know that something’s ‘wrong.’ Of course, it’s not that something’s really ‘wrong’, it’s more an indication that you have unresolved pain, misunderstandings, and traumatic memories that you are not conscious of – until they get triggered by something external – or sometimes internal – that occur in your environment. The negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions are here to tell you, ‘pay attention. this needs to be resolved.’ And instead of addressing it, what do we do, we try to control and shut it down.
When you attempt to control your negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions, you create other imbalances in your mental, emotional, and spiritual process
Why would you want to control yourself out of the most accurate and sophisticated process of identifying, understanding, and resolving sources of mental, emotional, and spiritual pain? You wouldn’t. If you did, it would be a great misunderstanding. In this scenario, you continue to experience negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions, and only experience temporary relief from them when you attempt to repress and suppress them, mostly through addiction or/ and distraction. When you think something, feel something, do something, there’s a reason for that. Without understanding why you think what you think, feel what you feel, and do what you do, you never get to resolve it. Further, when you attempt to control yourself out of thinking, feeling, or doing something, the very repression or suppression leads to other imbalances in your body, psyche, and emotions that will inevitably need to be resolved somewhere down the line.
We try to control our negative thoughts, feeling, and emotions in order to avoid pain
So why would you want to control yourself, what you think and feel? The first reason for that is that you don’t want to feel pain. The problem is that we’ve been taught to run away from our pain. Our aversion to pain, and feeling it, leads to a strong urge – fight-flight instinct – to avoid pain at all cost. This includes psychological, emotional, and spiritual pain, which we try to run away from equally. By trying to avoid pain, we actually create more pain in ourselves, our relationships, and our life. We try to control ourselves, our partner, the people around us, and our environment so that our pain doesn’t get triggered. In that process, not only do we limit our capacity to enjoy life, but we are also constantly – subconsciously – reacting to our pain. ‘This can’t happen, and that can’t happen, and this must happen, and that must happen… and if they do, or don’t happen, then I’m not ok.’ This inner dialogue is going on – subconsciously – all the time, and affecting your thoughts, feelings, and emotions. If instead, we release the attachments and aversions to all the shoulds and shouldn’ts in our system, we will be free from all negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions. And we will be able to enjoy ourselves, our relationships, and our life much more.
We’ve been taught that it’s bad, wrong, and unsafe to have negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions
Another main reason why you try to control yourself, what you think and feel, is because of societal conditioning. We’ve been taught that it’s bad, wrong, and unsafe to think negative thoughts and to experience negative feelings and emotions, and so we repress or suppress thinking, or feeling, them. Through societal conditioning, and the reaction we have gotten to our negative mental and emotional states, we have learned that it’s not safe, ok, or desirable for us to think or feel whatever comes up. We therefore fear that if we have negative thoughts, feelings, or emotions, and if we share those – even the simple act of recognizing that they exist to ourselves – with others, then we will be judged, criticized, punished, or even abandoned for having them. There is such a stigma in society about having negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions, and the pain that comes as a result of them, that we end up fearing our own thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Through this process, we rob ourselves of the opportunity of understanding and thus resolving them. Unfortunately, since pretty much everybody is resonating with this fear of social abandonment, we all stay stuck experiencing negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions without ever getting to the root of them, and thus permanently freeing ourselves from them.
Why we never get to resolve the root cause of our negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions
We don’t want to feel pain. And we definitely don’t want to be abandoned either. So, what happens when we run away from our pain for fear of feeling pain, and fear of being abandoned for it? We have more negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions. We pile more and more on, pain on top of pain, as we continue to try to control ourselves out of our negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions, and continue to try to ensure that we won’t be abandoned for having them. When we do that, we never get to the root – the WHY. In the WHY is the solution to our perceived problem. In the WHY, is the potential for resolving all negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Through societal pressure and pain avoidance, we repress, suppress, and avoid thinking and feeling what’s supposedly wrong, bad, and unsafe. When we suppress, repress, and avoid, we never get to explore the root cause – the WHY – of our negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions. And without this deep exploration, we never get to resolve any them. Instead, we keep the source of our unwanted thoughts, feelings, and emotions dormant, ready to be activated and to produce more of them, every time we get triggered.
Become interested in your negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions in order to release them permanently
Our negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions are not something to be ashamed of. They are not something that threaten us in any way. They are our guides and our indicators that something is going on underneath the surface, and that we should pay attention to it. Would you rather live a life of repression, suppression, avoidance, violence to yourself, and control, or would rather live a life of freedom, joy, love, acceptance, wisdom, and creativity? Which life do you think is more painful? Trying to escape pain at all cost is not a life of pain, it’s a life of suffering. That is the most painful path. Every time a negative thought, feeling, or emotion comes up, it is an opportunity we get to let go of our pain and to release the blockages that pain creates in our lives. It’s an opportunity to live more, to be more conscious, to resolve our pain, and as a result to get more of what we want in life. So, instead of trying to escape your negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions, learn to sit with them. Don’t be afraid of them. Be interested in them. What do they have to teach you about yourself, your fears, your beliefs, your expectations, and your judgments? Are you interested in permanently releasing negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions? If you are, then find out more about how we can help you do that here: Services