Deep down, we all strive to be good, do good, and be a ‘good person’; sometimes, to the point where our self-expectations really don’t serve us.
For most people, getting upset and experiencing relationship conflict is not acceptable and leads to a lot of inner conflict and self-judgment.
It’s almost like, when we get upset, we get a painful reminder of how out of control we feel in certain areas of our life.
It’s ok to get upset.
Getting upset is a part of life – until we reach a state of equanimity or enlightenment – and guides us to uncover unresolved pain, as long as we don’t get side-tracked by self-judgment and self-blame.
Getting upset is not a reflection of your value as a person. It doesn’t mean that you are not good, or don’t do good, or are not a ‘good person’.
It just means that you feel pain.
Getting upset also doesn’t mean that you are not lovable, or deserving of goodness, and that you should feel badly and guilty.
It just means that you just found some unresolved pain, that’s been suppressed or repressed, and that you inadvertently reacted to it.
Nobody gets upset because they like it – even if sometimes it may appear that they do.
Through the lens of our conditioned-in judgments, of good and bad, right and wrong, fair or unfair, etc., it may not feel safe or ok to get upset.
It can seem like when we get upset, we’ve done something wrong, that we’ve been bad, or that we’ve failed.
It isn’t so.
When we remain stuck in judgment for getting upset, or start resonating with others who blame us for getting upset, we miss the opportunity that’s presenting itself to us…
…The opportunity to release our self-expectations, to let go of judgment, to become more self-sovereign and no longer resonate with blame or punishment, and to ultimately uncover what’s hiding underneath our ‘getting upset’.
It’s only when we follow the breadcrumbs of our ‘getting upset’, and what it points to, that we gain the opportunity to permanently transcend getting upset – not because it’s bad or wrong, simply because we’re genuinely interested in experiencing more inner peace, joy, love, and happiness and, one day, achieve enlightenment.
There’s so much to learn from what triggers us, and when, where, how, and why it does.
Judgment steers us away from finding out. It leads us to suppress and repress our triggers and reactions into the realm of the subconscious, where they remain buried and continue to influence us physically, mentally, emotionally, energetically, and spiritually.
When you start looking at ‘getting upset’ as a simple reactive process
of unconsciously ‘taking your hand off the burning hot stove’, it becomes easier to accept that it can happen and even to forgive yourself for it.
Because, when you start looking at ‘getting upset’ through this new empowering perspective of ‘taking your hand off the burning hot stove’, there’s really nothing to blame yourself or anybody for.
Then you can objectively look at the pain that’s getting triggered – which never originates in the present moment – and work to release and resolve it at the root.
Ultimately, what you’ll find when you start digging deeper is that the only reason why you get upset is simply because a child part of you doesn’t feel safe or comfortable with the situation you’re in, and thus your pain gets triggered and you inadvertently react to it.
It’s never been about you not being good, not doing good, or failing in someway, it’s only ever been about your inner child being in pain.
If you’re interested in accelerating the healing of your inner child, consider working with Family Constellations, Hypnosis, or Past Life Regression.