Lack of confidence can influence your self image, social image, relationships, career, health, stress levels, and your capacity to live a deeply fulfilling and happy life. In this article, we’ll share with you how you can boost your self esteem and start feeling better in all areas of your life right now.
A lack of confidence can distort how we see ourselves and the world
Are you struggling with feelings of insecurity, lack of self esteem, lack of confidence, and not being good enough? If you are, you’re not alone. Most people, no matter how accomplished they are, struggle with thoughts and feelings of not being good enough, not being lovable, not being smart enough, not having enough, or simply not being enough. When we feel a lack of confidence, and like we’re not good enough – in and of ourselves – we tend to unknowingly project our insecurities onto our partner, others, our relationships, our work, our achievements, and all aspects of our life. At times, it can feel even like nothing is ever enough. No matter how much we do, achieve, love, have successes, how much effort we put in, it’s just never enough.
When we look at ourselves through our lack of confidence, we continuously revalidate to ourselves that we are ‘not enough’
When we look at ourselves, our partner, others, our relationships, and our lives through this lens of ‘not being good enough’ or ‘not being enough’, we experience life as if that was true. We feel pain, sadness, victimization, disempowerment, low energy, despair, depression, isolation, loneliness, disconnection, loss, failure, and an overall lack of fulfillment and joy in our relationships and life. This perspective that we hold of ourselves – all the ways in which we are not good enough – continuously revalidates itself through our life experiences, for no other reason than the simple fact that we look at ourselves in this way.
Our lack of confidence is created in our mind. It’s not real
As if there was such a thing as ‘being good enough’ or ‘not being good enough’… . Is that how God sees us? Is that a loving, caring, compassionate. intelligent, conscious, wise, and discerning perspective? Or, is it a process of pain, judgment, punishment, control, fear, blame, limiting belief, and disempowerment? Through that lens and the process of constant comparison, how can we ever be ‘good enough’? We can’t. No one can. Not even presidents, successful businessmen, top models, ‘perfect’ spouses, billionaires, philanthropists, etc.
No material success or external circumstance can make up for a lack of confidence
‘Successful’ people may appear to ‘have it together’, to be ‘good enough’, and to ‘have enough’ in the eyes of the world. And yet, deep inside, they, too, suffer from the same thoughts, fears, and pain of ‘not being good enough’. We work with many. They all share the same insecurities as everybody else. There’s no external reality that is going to change an inner state of being. Lack of confidence is lack of confidence. It doesn’t need anything external to support it. Often times, ‘successful’ people got to where they are by projecting the illusion of external success, by whipping themselves to the ‘finish’ line. That says a lot about how they feel deep down inside, and what’s motivating them to do, have, and be more. If we use the same method of measure for who is and who isn’t good enough, i.e. comparison, we’ll always feel inadequate, or somewhat not enough. So how do we break that cycle and feel ‘good enough’ all the time?’
Break the illusion of not being good enough by releasing comparison, competition, and expectation
Have you ever thought about who you’ve been comparing yourself to and why, when you declare to yourself that you’re not good enough? Doesn’t the process of ‘not being good enough’ always involve a comparison of sorts? What and who are you comparing yourself to? When, where, how, and why do you compare yourself? And who holds that standard of being ‘good enough’ over your head, except you? These expectations -whether they are your own, or those of others – are all inherited and conditioned into us. They’re not real. What we’ve been comparing ourselves to is nothing but an idea, an image created inside our own minds of who we believe we should be. And if it’s a mental projection, is it real? Or is it just an idea that we create in our mind that we believe will help us feel ‘safer’?
Passing the test of being good enough is just in your mind. It’s not real
When I am …………… , then I’ll be good enough, then I can love myself fully. When I have………., then I have proven my worth, then others can love me, and then I can love myself. Does that day ever come? Or, does the moment you become what you thought you needed to become in order to be ‘good enough’, your mind then creates another fantasy about how you should pursue another goal and achieve another accomplishment that will somehow make you ‘good enough’? When does it end? Never. Because it’s always been in our mind, not in reality.
Staying in the illusion of lack of confidence and not being good enough leads to pain and suffering
Until you get off the wheel of ‘being good enough’, you feel pain, you suffer. Until you decide and declare that you are ‘good’, that you’ve always been ‘good’, and that you always will be ‘good’ no matter what, you stay stuck in that cycle. You can’t build a masterpiece inside a phone booth, constantly comparing yourself to an idea of what you should be. You are a masterpiece. A masterpiece is not built in a day. A masterpiece is constantly refining itself, over and over and over again. When you hold yourself to the standard of what’s good enough or not, you limit your capacity to love, accept, and nurture yourself. When you run after the illusion of one day becoming ‘good enough’, you can’t enjoy being a masterpiece in the making. You lock yourself inside the phone booth of ‘not being good enough’ and constantly trying to be better than you already are. And it doesn’t help.
Seeking perfection is like chasing your tail. It doesn’t get you very far
Can we ever be happy and at peace with who we’re constantly in the process of trying to become if that something doesn’t exist? If there’s no such thing as ‘good enough’, because we are intrinsically always ‘good’, then we’re just chasing our tails and creating more suffering for ourselves and others in the process. Is there such a thing as perfection, or is that just an idea? Again, where does it end? And most importantly, where is it taking you?
Trying to become keeps us stuck feeling lack of self confidence and low self esteem
Have you ever wondered whom you’re trying to become, and for what purpose? Have you ever questioned the validity of the process of trying to become something, anything? Has ‘trying to become’ lead you to living a fulfilling and rewarding life? Or, has it kept you stuck in negative thinking, feeling poorly about yourself and your life? If it hasn’t helped make life better, why stay stuck in it?
Are you looking to resolve your lack of confidence? We can help
If you suffer from insecurities, feelings of not being good enough, low self worth, low self esteem, or a lack of confidence, we can help you. Our programs, individual sessions, and group sessions are designed to help you understand yourself better, learn to accept and love yourself unconditionally, and get off the wheel of ‘not good enough’. Learning these new skills, and getting to understand the subconscious dynamics that lead to your lack of confidence and self esteem, can help you feel better and better everyday, resolve all past inner and outer conflict, and achieve great relationships. If that’s something that you want to achieve in your life so that you can experience more love, more inner peace, more happiness, more joy, and fulfillment, then click this link: Services