Holistic Counseling with Dexter and Alessandrina

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(305) 606 - 5941

Dexter and Alessandrina

Holistic & Spiritual Counseling

Join our newsletter for weekly inspirational emails!

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Dexter and Alessandrina

Holistic & Spiritual Counseling

(305) 606 - 5941

Love and Alignment in the age of fear and doubt

love and alignment

Love is the absence of fear.  In this article, we’ll explore how coming into alignment with who you are will enhance your quality of love, relationships, and life.

Love is the absence of fear

Love is not about certainly.  It can’t be.  The desire for certainty comes from fear.  The fear that something ‘bad’ might happen, or that something ‘good’ may not.

And fear is the opposite, or rather the absence, of love. Where there is fear, there can be no love.  And where love is, fear is not.

Unless and until, we learn to sustain a consistent state of unconditional love, we often go back and forth between love and fear.

Choosing love over fear is a conscious choice that is made as a result of having acquired enough understanding about love and fear.  Only after having transcended enough fear, are we able to really feel and experience love.

If you want to live a truly happy, meaningful, and fulfilling life, choosing love over fear is always going to be your best option, as well as the fastest route to spiritual enlightenment.

Certainty is just a mental projection

All of that said, It’s ok to want certainty.  We are conditioned to seek certainty and to make decisions from that desire, or even the perceived need, for certainty.

But what is that certainty that we all seek really about?  What do we assume we’ll get from this projected certainty, that has us fearing the unknown and any unpredictable change that occurs?

Any sense of certainty derived from any situation, person, relationship, job, etc. is just an idea we create in our mind.  It doesn’t make it real, or true, and it certainly isn’t useful.

The certainty that we perceive and project as real only comes from having rearranged information in a way – such as through beliefs – that makes us feel safe and in control.  Certainty is of the mind, and only exists in the mind.  It’s not objective reality.

We are not in control, and that’s a good thing

We are not in control of anything – jobs, family, health, relationships, children, position, financial status, time of death – even though we’d like to believe that we are.  And though it may sound like a problem, it’s not a bad thing.  Though parts of us may feel and believe that we would be happier if everything was written in stone, and there were no uncertainty at all, surely we would feel very differently if that was actually the case.

Not being in control doesn’t have to trigger our fear.  That realization alone can actually save us a lot of pain, suffering, and self sabotage in life.  Just because we are not in control doesn’t mean that we are not safe in life.  If we project that it does, then we will ride that rollercoaster, and every time we experience a lack of control over any situation that we’re in, we will be triggered in the fears of abandonment, pain, and death.

So what does it really mean to realize that we don’t have complete control over everything?  It simply means that there is another way to look at ourselves, others, and the world that is more conducive of love, joy, inner peace, happiness, harmony, fulfillment, personal and spiritual growth, and God alignment.

You have power and influence over your life choices and results

You have freewill.  And with that freewill, you have a lot of power and influence over when, where, how, why, and what things unfold in your life.  When you let go of control, or rather of the illusion of control, and you choose instead to release the fears that would otherwise motivate you to want to control anything and anyone, you are on the top of the mountain.

From the top of the mountain, you look out far ahead and in all directions. As far as you can see, you distinguish all the paths that have the potential to take you to where we want to go.  From the top of the mountain, you always have choices.  You are never devoid of choices, or victimized by temporary and transitional life circumstances.

Your commitment to being self aware, self sovereign, self empowered, self accountable, focused, intentional, equanimous, consciously wise and discerning, and unconditionally loving and accepting is all you need to achieve your intentions and goals.  You don’t need to attempt to control, manipulate, or use judgment or punishment to get what you want.  All you need is love – of course, we are not talking about romantic love here, but rather of the love of self, others, humanity, God…

Love is not about control

Love is not about control, i.e. controlling yourself, situations, or others.  That kind of love is an ‘attached’ love that comes from fear.  The love we are talking about here is born out of self knowledge, consciousness, and faith.  It’s a renewed choice that we make to be and remain vulnerable in all circumstances so that we operate from our heart.

This love comes from your heart, not your physical heart, but your spiritual heart.  It doesn’t just determine the quality of your relationships, it defines the quality of your life experiences, of all the decisions that you make, and the results that you get from those decisions.

You may have gone into that space many times before and felt this deep sense of unconditional love that could not be shaken by anything.  Maybe you’ve even felt the perfect alignment that one feels when residing in their heart, where decisions come almost effortlessly, and you always seem to know where you’re going next, without fear or anxious anticipation.  This love is always there, though sometimes it may have been difficult for you to feel it because of having been in your fear mind.

Coming into alignment with who you truly are

The best way to be and stay in your heart, and to feel this love, is to come into alignment with who you are.  Coming into alignment with who you are doesn’t just bring about feelings of love, happiness, inner peace, satisfaction, joy, and fulfillment, it’s also the best way to come into alignment with others and life.

You can’t come into alignment with others and life by trying to be something that you are not, or by trying to fit in, and mold yourself into someone that you’re not.  The only way to truly share this love and enjoy great relationships is to align with who you truly are.

Who you truly are is not your ego self, or what we call the fear mind.  Who you truly are is your real self, the eternal soul that you can access from the space of your spiritual heart.  Coming into alignment with who you are means finding out and understanding who you truly are from within the depth of your soul.  Not your personal likes and dislikes, temporary preferences, or habits of thought, feeling, and behavior.  It’s much deeper than that.

Once you find this alignment, and feel your true self, and remain in alignment with it, you will always be in alignment with everything that is.  Life is a journey.   There’s no rush.  There are many paths.  There is no right or wrong way to get to where you want to go.  Being in alignment helps us make more conscious, wise, and discerning choices about the path we choose.

Whatever path you choose, if you favor your true self and your spiritual heart over your fear mind, the journey will be filled with love, understanding, acceptance, compassion, joy, happiness, inner peace, awe, personal and spiritual growth, fulfillment, God alignment, and bliss.

If you’d like to have a direct experience of being in your heart and feeling the joy of alignment, listen to a guided meditation we created to help you move into the space of your heart and come into alignment with your true self: Open Heart Meditation

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