Dexter and Alessandrina

Releasing All Expectations: Why we don’t need expectations to get what we want

We don’t need expectations to get what we want.

Most people have been conditioned to believe that without expectations, we couldn’t achieve our intentions and goals and have success in life.

That’s simply not true.

If you think back on every single expectation you’ve ever had, you might see how having this expectation really did not help you achieve what you wanted, and certainly wasn’t a peaceful and joyful experience.  

​​If you were operating from an expectation, it probably created a lot of pressure for you to achieve what you wanted, feelings of failure or not being good enough when it seemed like things were not unfolding the way you thought they should, disappointment at the idea that you might not be able to get what you wanted, and an overall sense of stress, worry, and anxiety throughout the entire process.

These kind of emotions and the disempowering thoughts, projections, and decisions that come with them are not supportive of us achieving what we most want in a way that actually feels good to us.

And so if it doesn’t help, and if it doesn’t feel good, why do we keep doing it?

Like all habits and conditioned-in behaviors, expectations are created by the mind.  They’re the result of our process of projecting what we’ve perceived to have happened and worked best in the past onto the present moment or future with the desire for the pleasure or satisfaction we felt back then to repeat itself again and again.

Our process of creating expectations is not one of conscious wisdom and discernment, grounding, or presence.  It’s more of a reactive process of trying to avoid our own projected fears of not having what we believe we need to be happy, or of suffering as a result of past pain potentially re-occurring again.

We don’t need to create expectations to avoid our projected fears coming true.  What we ‘need’ instead is to let go of our fears and consciously redirect and keep our focus on what we want.

Unfortunately, when we live with expectations, it can be very difficult to feel happy, present, fulfilled, and at peace consistently.

In addition, having expectations of ourselves and others is also a prelude to judging and punishing ourselves and others when we perceive that our own self-created expectations won’t be met.

Judging or punishing ourselves or others is not a conscious or loving process of manifesting what we want.

No one has ever truly learnt or made conscious, wise, and discerning choices through judgment or punishment.

Ultimately, if everything we want is only for the feelings we project we will derive from it, then the only way to get there – while also enjoying the process of getting there – is to focus on the feelings and emotions we want to feel first.

When we focus on cultivating the feelings and emotions that we seek from anything external to ourselves, we start realizing that nothing is missing. And when nothing is missing, it becomes easier to let go of our expectations because we feel good in the present moment.

When we live in this way, everything that we want and that comes our way is experienced as a gift because we’re not living in the illusion of lack.  We’re happy, present, content, and we can truly enjoy living in this state of gratitude and openness to receive.

It’s possible to learn to live without expectations and to enjoy more inner peace, self love, joy, happiness, fulfillment, gratitude, and awe as a result.  Ultimately, that’s all we ever truly want.

Living without expectations doesn’t mean having no intention, goal, or direction in life, it means focusing positively on what we want, staying relaxed, positive, and empowered about what we want, working with conscious discipline to achieve it, and leaving the rest up to the Universe.

Having a star to follow, that guides our path, without being worried or losing sight of what truly matters – i.e. being happy and content right now, while working towards manifesting more of what we want in life.

We don’t need expectations to feel good and get what we want in life, all we really ‘need’ is clarity, focus, determination, and faith that whatever is in our highest and best good has been happening and will continue to unfold to support our personal development, love of self and others, and spiritual evolution now and forever.

To listen to a guided process to help you release expectations, visit www.theepicself.com and type in ‘expectations’ in the search toolbar.

Wishing you a stress free week!

Dexter and Alessandrina

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