Here is a short self assessment that can help you become aware of subconscious motivations that may currently be affecting you and diminishing the quality of your results in your relationship and life.

1. List 3 relationship goals that you have and that you haven’t yet been able to achieve.
2. For each goal, what do you attribute your lack of success (so far) to?
3. For each goal, what seems to unfold as you work towards achieving your goal and what results have you been getting?
4. For each goal, how have you tried (if you already have) to approach attaining your goal differently as a result of finding obstacles along the way?
5. What are the thoughts, feelings, and emotions that you experience in regards to your goals on a daily basis?  Are they positive and supportive, or not?
6. Overall, how do deal with thoughts, feelings, and emotions that are not supportive of your relationship goals when they come up?
7. If you didn’t have those thoughts, feelings, and emotions, do you think that you would get better results?  How so?
8. Can you start identifying the subconscious elements that may be at play in all 3 scenarios?