Have you ever heard the words:

“I don’t want to be around you”
“I don’t feel good when I’m around you”
“I just want to be alone”
“Your energy is bad”
“I don’t feel good when I’m around you”

If so, then during these times you’ve probably felt, at the very least, a bit hurt, abandoned, and vulnerable. Maybe, when this happened (or happens) you react and get angry or try to hold on and prevent them from getting space. Other times, maybe you’ve surrendered and just let them go. Either way, understanding what’s really going on in these situations will truly empower you to:

• have a more conscious relationship with your partner
• feel better internally anytime something like this happens and navigate the situation wisely
• prevent these situations from blowing up into bigger problems
• enjoy more self-sovereignty and equanimity in your relationship
• release any resentment, feelings of betrayal, abandonment, anger, and any other negative emotions you might feel when this happens
• understand times when you’re the one that wants to be alone so you can manage those feelings in more intentional, wise, loving, and optimal ways

When our partner says they don’t want to be around us, it’s usually because they’re carrying pain from prior interpretations of past experiences in the relationship. This pain is why they feel negative emotions when they’re around us. Because they’ve subconsciously associated that pain with us, when they see us or they are around us, that pain comes to the surface and the feel it again. This process can lead them to thinking that they don’t love us, don’t want to be around us, that we are the cause of their pain, or that the relationship is not a good fit.

This can be worked through. The difficulty is helping the partner who is in pain understand that the pain they feel must be coming from inside themselves and that no one can ‘make’ us feel anything emotionally. This understanding can help someone reach a point where they take accountability for their pain in the relationship. Once they do this, with the proper information, tools, and guidance, they can then begin to unravel the different misinterpretations of the past that they’ve recorded in their systems which are creating the negative emotions and pain that they feel. Introspection and analytical meditation can be very helpful in this regard.

Another thing that can be helpful is if the other person in the relationship identifies what events in the relationship their partner may be holding onto. Once they identify those events, they can humbly acknowledge and apologize for their part in each of those events. This can go a very long way in relationships especially when done thoroughly and consistently. When we do this we are helping the other person release their fear, feelings of hurt, and other insecurities that they may have stored during those painful past events. This also helps our partner feel supported and acknowledged. Please watch the video from more detailed information on this topic.