Why relationship conflict is increasing today and how modern society and technology are adding pressure
Many of us might want our relationship to be ‘good’, and are having difficult reducing conflict and getting along in the ways we feel we should be. If we aren’t aware of all the stressful influences that relationships across the planet are facing at this time, it can be difficult to completely understand why this conflict is coming up. Also, if we’re not aware of how these externals influences are becoming stronger, and putting more pressure on our relationships at this time in our global development as a species, then we might not be empowered to consciously manage and reduce the impact these external factors can have on our relationship. Without this context, it’s easy to think the relationship isn’t working. Having this context, however, can make all the difference in whether you commit to repeatedly work through the conflict and build a very meaningful relationship each time it comes up, or whether you move on to another relationship (often times only to repeat a similar cycle).
Even if you’re having big fights multiple times a day, it doesn’t mean that the relationship is the problem. There are many truly great, intimate, special, loving relationships where there is still a lot of arguing, yelling, screaming, and fighting. Just because this is going on, doesn’t mean you should move on or the relationship is bad.
A lot of people look at the conflict they have and say, “maybe this just isn’t the right relationship for me”, or, “maybe we’re just not right for each other”. This is a common reaction, and it’s understandable because relationship conflict can feel exhausting, overwhelming, painful, destabilizing, and draining. It can affect our stress levels, our health, career, friendships, children, and our state of happiness. It can be tempting to just put it behind us and move on. All of that said, just because you are feeling this in your relationship, doesn’t mean it’s not a good relationship or that you and your partner are not a good fit – although this can be a tempting conclusion to jump to, especially when we feel like the problems are so big and complex that there’s no way out or through.
How the world and our species’ evolution is influencing relationship conflict
There’s a lot going on in the world today that’s contributing to the conflict that we have at home. Understanding these factors can help you understand several reasons why you and your loved one are fighting and then address this conflict differently so it can lead to resolution more often. This context is important. It helps you realize that you are not alone and that what you’re experiencing is not just happening to you. It also helps you realize that it’s not all your fault, your loved one’s fault, the relationship’s fault, or anyone or anything’s fault. In addition, it can help you realize that the conflict in your relationship is part of a much bigger movement or paradigm shift in the process of humanity’s evolution. I know that’s a big statement. That said, if you consider that humanity has never been in this situation before and that every day that passes our species gets a day older, you realize that with each generation we face not just the same old challenges, but new challenges as well. To add to that, we are simultaneously feeling the influence of how today’s science and technology are causing exponentially increasing, rapid change that is stress producing for everyone.
How scientific and technological developments are affecting our relationships
For example, today, our day to day lives are far more immersed in multimedia content than ever before. This multimedia content includes advertising, movies, TV shows, pornography, and more. It also includes communications with groups and individuals via text messaging, email, social media, dating apps, gaming, etc. Can you imagine how many more people we interact with in a day today, than our parents did just 40 years ago? Additionally, it’s been estimated that the average person sees (whether consciously or subconsciously) about 5,000 ads per day. The information we receive from these channels influences us, and often times in ways we don’t realize. All of this information and interaction is speeding up our process of personal and social development by bringing up all of our internal desires, fears, emotions, beliefs and rubbing them against each other.
John Jones, a spiritual healer, gave us this metaphor that our relationships are like rock tumblers. When we get in the rock tumbler, we’re sharp, rough, with many edges. We get thrown in there and then spun rapidly to bump into each other hard and often until we finally come out as beautiful smooth rocks. Today’s internet and technology enabled world has taken our rock tumbler to the next level – it has shrunken it in size. We’re crashing into more and more rocks (or people) each day and often times, the stress from that spills into our closest relationships at home. Not only that, because we live so closely with our partners, we bump into them the most! Believe it or not, this is by design. Our souls have a say in who we seek out in our relationships, and those relationships often contain deep learning for us on a karmic and spiritual level.
Simultaneously, our world is becoming so much smaller because of technology, how much social interaction we have available, and how much more prone to movement and change the average individual is. This means people feel less need to lay down roots and raise a family, work for one company all their life, etc.). As a result, people are becoming more willing to pick up their roots and move on from their relationships, or try a new place with new people elsewhere. In world where we can swipe left or right on our phones through a seemingly endless number of people on dating apps, it is simply easier today to get up and go, or to move on to another relationship than it is to stick with it. That said, just because it’s easier, doesn’t mean it’s better for us or optimal.
Of course, there are many situations where a relationship isn’t optimal, and we’re not discouraging anyone from leaving a non-optimal relationship. What we are saying is that we see many couples unnecessarily move on from their relationship only to later regret it. We see them do this, not because their relationship was the problem, but because they thought their relationship was the problem and they didn’t have the necessary information to understand that it wasn’t and how to work through their relationship issues constructively and methodically over time in a way that could produce healing, evolution, progress, love, and intimacy in their lives. Ironically, it is through working through these issues that deep love and intimacy are born. It’s how we smooth down our rough edges and cultivate love. Just one spiritual counseling or relationship coaching session can make a world of difference for people. Consider scheduling a session with us, or continue reading the articles and watching the videos we have on the site. We hope you find all of this helpful and we wish you the most joy, love, inner-peace, and fulfillment in your life, relationships, and goals.